Editor describing a politician who spit during an interview: “It was like a step above a loogie. It was a metastasized loogie. It was a cumulus cloud of spittle. Look I’m [politician's] spit (flops around, falls dramatically on desk).”


Conversation with copy-editor who is leaving about his replacement: “You know he’s going to come in here all happy and enthusiastic, and I’m just going to sit here and watch and snicker as the light slowly leaves his eyes.”


Reporter: “Thank God they didn’t have YouTube when I was in college.”

Assignment Editor: “Yeah that stuff is there to bother you forever, kind of like you people to me. Until the alien invasion happens that we all know is coming soon, then I’ll be siding with the aliens and I will kill all of you.”